So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
