So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize