You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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