Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
