Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
