Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
