oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
