I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
