I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize