Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
