Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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