I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
