also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
