even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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