Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
