I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
