Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
