it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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