Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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