we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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