check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if i died would you start the facebook group?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
