6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
