I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
