so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
