She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
