I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What a dumb baby whore.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
