i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
