Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
