We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
where does the pee come out of this thing
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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