I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
