Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
