I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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