I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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