just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
