there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
pray to the hookup gods
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
