I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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