I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
