think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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