is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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