the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
