Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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