saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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