You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
