Don't you send me to vm
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
