Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
