Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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