Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
