Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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