I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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