I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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