so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
