who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
