Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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