I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
