I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
