it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
