my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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