High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
