DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize