I'm so fucking centered right now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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