everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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