Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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